The Many Deaths of Roger Wilco
"The place where every day is a good day to die."


Space Quest 2 - Labion


Walk onto the concealed pit on the screen you start on.

Aaaghh! You fall to the bottom of a concealed pit. You might have survived the fall had you not come in contact with the several 30 centimeter long spikes planted vertically along the bottom of the pit.

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Go right from the screen you start on and get too close to the mushrooms.

Holy geez, boy! That mushroom thing sucked you clean up! You can't move a muscle nor see a speck of light.

You begin feeling waves of tingling, warmth, and moisture. Suddenly it's not so bad in here. Wow. Check out the colors, dude.

Your body and mind enjoy the short-lived buzz that is a side-effect of the lethal poison you now marinate in. You are oblivious to the end. Not a bad way to go, actually.

But it sure is early in the game. I had high hopes for you. They said, "Who? Roger Wilco? Not a chance! That chump won't last twenty minutes!"

I said "No way! Roger Wilco isn't THAT lame!" So anyway, don't make ME look stupid TOO.

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Go north of the screen you start on and get discovered by the searching guard.

You hear something. It sounds not unlike the hovercraft you wrecked in.

Drats! Vohaul's troops have tracked you down and passed sentence for your escape. Tough luck, eh?

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Go north of the screen you start on and try to climb the tree. (CLIMB TREE)

This is as uncool as uncool can be. It looks like you've adhered yourself to this tree like a fly to fly paper. And speaking of insects, here comes a swarm now.

You'll be proud to know that you have filled today's nutritional requirements for many of the local carnivorous insects. Adventuring is not always pretty.

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Step on one of the root monster's roots.

Good. You've succeeded in establishing contact with one of this planet's life forms, and it looks like you'll get to examine it up close and personal. The giant root-looking thing is giving you a guided tour of its digestive system.

What you experience next is too horrible to describe. Let's just say that you die as a result. You are dead. Trust me.

It may please you to know that, during the night, you didn't digest well. For awhile gastric distress made it extremely unpopular with the other root monsters.

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Swim in the swamp before you figure out how to repel the swamp monster.

You feel something slimy clamp down on your leg and pull you beneath the surface! You struggle in vain to free yourself. Unfortunately your desire to breathe results in the intake of a large quantity of swamp water. If the lack of oxygen hadn't killed you the taste of the putrid water would have.

You're dead. Better luck next time, Roger Wilco.

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Dive in the swamp or cave without holding your breath. (DIVE)

You can't go on. You do not have enough oxygen in your lungs. You panic! The need for oxygen causes you to become irrational.

Your desire for air causes you to inhale large quantities of water, which results in suffocation.

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Walk into the chasm.

You smoothly step off the edge of the fissure. Gravity has its way with you and you are sucked to the depths of the fissure at a very high rate of speed. Needless to say, you hit the bottom and your mortal remains are redimensioned to the point where life is no longer an option. Will you never learn?

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Climb onto the log bridge once you've created it then try to move up or down.

Being less than careful, you lose your balance and slide off the log. Gravity has its way with you and you are sucked to the depths of the fissure at a very high rate of speed. Needless to say, you hit the bottom and your mortal remains are redimensioned to the point where life is no longer an option.

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Call the hunter over to you (type CALL HUNTER twice) then wait.

The hunter seems to ignore you.

The hunter stands and takes a long look in your direction. His face, though strange in its own right, bears an expression one might see on a freak show patron. He moves closer.

The hunter has decided that it's a perfect day for a barbecue. As he slowly turns you over the fire, you begin to turn a beautiful golden brown. Death follows at an agonizingly slow distance.

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Throw the spore at the hunter without calling him over first. (THROW SPORE)

Upon impact with the ground, the spore opens and spews its dust into the air. The hunter falls to the ground, paralyzed.

You have caused the guard to be paralyzed. I don't think he's too pleased with you.

The hunter has decided that it's a perfect day for a barbecue. As he slowly turns you over the fire, you begin to turn a beautiful golden brown. Death follows at an agonizingly slow distance.

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Go north of the hunter's camp and wait on that screen.

Drats! Vohaul's troops have tracked you down and passed sentence for your escape. Tough luck, eh?

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Go north of the hunter's camp and walk off of the cliff.

Way to go, pathfinder! As you plunge towards the base of the cliff, "Mommy!" escapes your lips.

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Go back to the screen where you got snared and walk off the edge at the upper-left corner.

Intrigued with gravity, you take another terminal ride to solid ground. Watch your step, Roger Wilco.

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Tie the rope to the tree stump then try to climb down it. (TIE ROPE TO STUMP, CLIMB ROPE, move down the rope)

You head over the edge and down the rope.

It looks like that stump wasn't a good thing to tie on to.

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Take too long to jump off of the rope after you start it swinging.

He who hesitates is lost. You gave that guy one chance too many and he seized the opportunity, not to mention you. You are consumed in two quick bites.

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This site was created by Liz Calkins on June 18, 2001.
E-mail: jeysie@alienharmony.com