The Many Deaths of Roger Wilco
"The place where every day is a good day to die."

Space Quest: The Lost Chapter - Crashed Ship

After you open it, fall down the hatch in the engine room.


Apparently not noticing how far down this hatch goes, you walk right into it and fall to the bottom. Of course, shattering your spine on impact, you don't survive the fall.

Maybe you should watch your step, Roger.


Use the wrong code card in the pod or push the buttons in the pod.

You press the buttons in no specific order and you hear something start to happen.

There is a loud explosion as your body explodes. You are splattered into many millions of pieces inside the pod.

Your brilliance has once again brought you to a rapid and messy death. Maybe next time you won't go pressing things up without knowing exactly what you're doing.


Replace the turbo rod, then pull the red switch without closing the invisible barrier first.

You pull the switch down.

Having put in the second turbo rod, and throwing the switch, the turbo rods start humming with power and begin to pulse.

However, it seems you didn't exactly know what you were doing. While congratulating yourself on getting the power up, you feel strange radiation begin to bombard your body.

After a few seconds the radiation begins to destroy all the cells in your body and you start melting like hot butter in an oven. You die quite painfully and make a tremendous mess on the floor.


After you turn on the power, step on the wires in the far left screen of the middle room on the ship.

Well, having turned on the power, it appears some of the wires lying around became live. The level of power that is shot through your body is unfathomable to you. You die quickly but painfully.


Get caught by the aliens in the underground cavern beneath the ship.

The alien grabs you. You're in for it now, Roger.

Well, having captured you the aliens have taken you to a dark room and strapped you into some strange contraption. You can only wonder what they have in store for you.

Energy starts coursing through the strange clamps attached to your head.

A powerful energy was just slammed through your brain. Your brain bounced around inside your skull for a second before imploding into mush.

Your last thought was of latex and babes, not necessarily in that order. You die quickly but the sight of your brain oozing out of your ears might have been upsetting so perhaps that was a good thing.


Get shot by the guard aliens in the underground cavern before you can shoot them.

Oh oh.

The alien, apparently faster on the draw than you, fires off a shot that heads straight for you.

The solid laser, which is what the gun fires, slams into your stomach and explodes out through your back. Your internal organs are obliterated in the process.

The aliens will probably pick up your lifeless body and examine it to determine exactly what you were.

I guess if you're going to start shooting at people, you had better make sure you hit them. You're so dead even dirt wouldn't want you.


Go over to the strange machine in the under-
ground cavern and type USE CONSOLE.

You use your interfering expertise and overall button-pushing prowess. You push a few buttons and then you hear the machine start up.

A beam of energy shoots out of the machine.

You feel funny.

The strange energy bounces off the flat surface of the machine and bombards your body. It immediately has a very unpleasant reaction to your flesh.

As you are hit with the energy you almost instantly start melting like a cryo-freeze popsicle in the Keronian sun.

Even your bones turn to jelly and you slop onto the floor, dead as Jell-o.

The process was very quick, but equally as painful.

You'd have screamed if your tongue hadn't liquified and slid out of your mouth.

The mess you made on the floor will baffle the aliens down here for weeks.

Way to go.


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This site was created by Liz Calkins on June 18, 2001.