The Many Deaths of Roger Wilco
"The place where every day is a good day to die."


Space Quest: The Lost Chapter - The Vercotron


Go left from the transporter screen before putting on the disguise.

The aliens, not recognizing you, grab you.

Being a strange alien, these aliens throw you in the brig. In there you are forgotten completely and will probably slowly starve to death. Not a good way to go. In fact it's very unpleasant.

You stare out of the small window in your cell. Nobody can hear you and nobody really would care if they could.

Your stomach starts to grumble as the lack of food starts to kick in. You wonder how long you will survive before eventually kicking the bucket.

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Put on the disguise, go left from the transporter screen, and try to talk to the alien guards. (TALK TO ALIEN)

You try to speak to the aliens.

They of course become immediately suspicious and start coming for you.

The aliens, not recognizing you, grab you.

Being a strange alien, these aliens throw you in the brig. In there you are forgotten completely and will probably slowly starve to death. Not a good way to go. In fact it's very unpleasant.

You stare out of the small window in your cell. Nobody can hear you and nobody really would care if they could.

Your stomach starts to grumble as the lack of food starts to kick in. You wonder how long you will survive before eventually kicking the bucket.

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Try to enter one of the restricted areas around the ship.

Random Alien Guard: You are not cleared in this area. Please turn back now.

Not heeding their warning, the guards grab you and in doing so realize you are not Tormeenian. They seem very upset at your spying and promptly throw you in the brig.

Being a strange alien, these aliens throw you in the brig. In there you are forgotten completely and will probably slowly starve to death. Not a good way to go. In fact it's very unpleasant.

You stare out of the small window in your cell. Nobody can hear you and nobody really would care if they could.

Your stomach starts to grumble as the lack of food starts to kick in. You wonder how long you will survive before eventually kicking the bucket.

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Try to teleport back to the planet while still wearing the disguise.

Well, once again showing your amazing genius, you try to teleport yourself off the ship wearing the very tight mask and alien outfit.

The only problem is that the computer seems to have had a problem discerning your actual facial skin from the very tight, and apparently originally organic, mask.

The mask is fused to your face in the teleportation process, causing a very messy and quite painful Roger-Tormeenian mass of flesh where your head should be. You suffocate while in your suffering, but mercifully you croak and leave this mortal coil behind.

It was not pretty. Not pretty at all.

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Try to teleport back to the planet after using the wrong code card.

Well, displaying your brilliance, you apparently did something wrong with the transporter device.

The teleporter tries to teleport you into the same spot you are already in. The high-powered advanced computer determines that such a function just does not compute and therefore it purges its system of the dumb command. Unfortunately, you being de-molecularized in the system, are part of what gets purged.

Your molecules are dispersed into the emptiness of space, to drift forever.

At least you'll live forever, kinda, as cosmic dust.

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Go to level ten, and press the green button by the pink machine. (PRESS GREEN BUTTON)

You press the green button.

You hear a weird noise and then the field blocking the machine disappears.

Apparently the machine is running some kind of experiment, and it's giving off some kind of weird radiation.

That's probably why there was a force field up between it and the rest of the corridor.

The radiation, now bombarding your body, ignites your cells and you spontaneously combust.

You burn brightly for a few seconds, before you are turned to ashes.

The strange pile of dust will confuse the ship's janitor, but cause no more problems than a few burger crumbs.

Your genius brings death quickly and so very effectively that I am left in awe.

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Try to open the red box on level 6. (OPEN BOX then FORCE OPEN THE BOX)

The box is very securely closed and you have no chance of opening it.

Really.

Truly no chance in Hearon.

Move along now, leave the box alone.

Unless you want to try to Force Open the Box?

All right. You decide to test your miniscule... errr... I mean mighty muscles on the small box.

You pull and tug at the box until amazingly you hear something give.

Unfortunately, what gave was a high-powered jolt of some kind of energy from the box, into you.

Your disguise melts onto your body and then even your body turns into ashes.

You die very quickly, so quickly in fact you never felt a thing.

Lucky you.

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Drink the Fiery Frost drink after you get it.

OK.

You grab the spicy-looking drink and gulp it in one shot.

You begin feeling weird.

The whole world turns crazy.

You see more colors than on your SuperColor Multi-Mode Monitor.

A strange burning starts in the pit of your stomach.

You feel like all your internal workings are being screwed up.

The burning gets worse. The pain become unbearable.

You feel like your belly is on fire. It's even worse than that time you ate a jar of Jalapengian Mongo Peppers by accident.

You then burst into flame from the inside out and are rapidly burnt to a crisp.

Your remains smell horrible and would give even the heartiest janitor one hell of a challenge.

At least you went out in style.

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In the lounge on level 3, let the green blob touch you.

Well, what have we here? It seems that upon passing near to you the wandering blobby noticed you weren't actually a Tormeenian.

The blobby, with blinding speed and efficiency, rips off your Tormeenian outfit.

He then looks at you funny and jumps on your head.

This can't be good.

Jumping onto your large head, the blobby proceeds to suffocate you as it spreads its body around you.

You drop to the ground after a brief and futile struggle. The blobby then settles itself on top of you and proceeds to suck all the nutrients from your fluid-filled Xenonian body.

You're just a can of Vaporade to this guy, and he's gonna suck every last drop out of your lifeless husk.

Nice going Roger. You should know better than to try to fool all of the people all of the time.

Silly Xenonian. Tricks are for kids. Only brains will get you through a sequel.

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Get blown out of the docking bay.

You press the red button and hear a weird noise come from the north.

Apparently that was a force field protecting the inner chamber.

This does not look good.

The force field having gone down, the wait begins to be sucked out into space.

That's what happens when you open something in a vacuum, of which space is a huge one.

You of course are sucked out right along with the air in the bay.

You are sucked right out into space, where unfortunately even mold in your lungs can't help you breathe.

You freeze and suffocate in the immense cold and airless vacuum that is space.

You die quick, but float forever as a Tormeenian-covered Xenonian icicle.

You scare many a child on interstellar cruises.

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Suffocate by not reinstating the force field quickly enough after you've blown out the experimental ship.

Well, choosing not to put back up the force field, you suffocate as all the air is sucked out of the docking bay.

You remain attached to the pole, a grim testament to the folly of janitors.

Your frozen, and quite unappealing, corpse is found some time later by the crew members of the ship.

They poke and prod at your body for a few weeks, before deciding there was nothing to be done with you, and you eventually join the experimental ship out in space as they jettison you like so much garbage.

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On level 1, go west twice from the elevator, and try to use the computer thing. (USE PANEL)

Upon touching the panel, and obviously not having any clearance in this area, the overhead laser activates and obliterates you.

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On level 1, go west twice from the elevator, and try to use the console to open the compartment. (USE CONSOLE)

Upon touching the console, and obviously not having any clearance in this area, the overhead laser activates and obliterates you.

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When you enter the screen before the bomb take too long to go left.

After standing around doing absolutely nothing, the guards get suspicious of you and start coming after you.

Being a strange alien, these aliens throw you in the brig. In there you are forgotten completely and will probably slowly starve to death. Not a good way to go. In fact it's very unpleasant.

You stare out of the small window in your cell. Nobody can hear you and nobody really would care if they could.

Your stomach starts to grumble as the lack of food starts to kick in. You wonder how long you will survive before eventually kicking the bucket.

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Use the toilet in the cell. (USE TOILET)

All right. You keep shirking the advice of friendly narrators, so you'd better deal with the consequences.

Well, you drop your adventurer's drawers and plant your hiney on the weird-looking and smelling, filthy toilet. There are three separate tubes on this thing, you guess to accommodate various forms of life.

After about five seconds you start to feel a strange sensation on your skin. Hmmmm, it's all tingly.

Just when you were about to decide whether the feeling was pleasurable or not, it being such a long time since you felt anything below the waist other than the urge to do what you are presently doing, the sensation suddenly turns into a sharp burning pain.

Alarmed, you try to get off the toilet, but alas, it appears your behind has started to melt and is now firmly stuck to the seat.

As you struggle in vain to free yourself, the burning spreads rapidly and you watch as all your hopes for the future melt and drip down into the foul drain.

As your tears start streaming after witnessing the greatest loss any adventurer can ever sustain, your legs fall off and you begin a slow and very excruciating process of being sucked down the tubes.

People always told you to watch where you put your butt, because you just might lose it. Only now does the advice ring true in your pain-riddled mind.

You briefly recall that bully from Xenon who was always threatening to flush your @$$ down the toilet. Your uncanny skill at finding the nearest broomcloset always saved your hide, and incidentally enhanced your desire to become a janitor. How ironic that after avoiding it for years, you ended up doing it to yourself.

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Disable the bomb without having first gotten your hair scanned and blown out the experimental ship.
or
Don't finish everything you're supposed to do in the cell before they come for you.

Well, having no idea what to do in the cell, and hence just wandering about doing absolutely nothing, you've not helped your cause. Which I can't remember anyway, so it really doesn't matter.

However, with no information on you, and with lots on his mind, the Captain, having been informed of your treachery, orders your death.

Of course your friend, the guy who booted you into this nice cell, rejoices at this news and drags you out of the cell to suffer weeks of torture and pain.

You win a final victory however, as your weak body only survives about two days of the abuse heaped upon it by alien and machine alike.

Your lifeless, battered, and smelly body is dumped out into space, to float forever in the void.

With no air, there is no decay, so you float endlessly, bumped now and then by the odd meteor. Your body is even crashed into a few times by ships shuttling to and fro through the galaxy.

Despite causing the occasional curse by angry pilots, you are a non-entity in this or any other timeline, due to the fact that you're long dead.

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Disable the bomb after getting your hair scanned, but without blowing out the experimental ship. (Note: This is only in the most recent version of the game.)

Well having no idea what to do in the cell, and hence just wandering about doing absolutely nothing, you've not helped your cause. Which I can't remember anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

However, even though your DNA was scanned, the Tormeenian somehow never thought to question where you got the Xenonian DNA.

Thus nobody onboard the Vercotron ever found out who you really were.

Perhaps if you had ticked-off some other people onboard, word might have gotten around about a fat Tormeenian who was wandering around the ship. It might have lead to a little more interest in that Xenonian DNA.

But then again maybe it was just inevitable that you'd find a way to get yourself killed.

I mean such is life and all that.

But I digress...

In case you were wondering, you became quite popular as a prison guest, being the only pink one around and all.

Everybody took to calling you Fat Pink Grat. But the order from the Captain to DEAL with you in a fatal manner came down due to your serious interference with their Laterfusion Bomb.

The guards, who also took to kicking you around the Brig at lunch-time, were very disappointed.

Some of them were heartened when they heard that the method of such dealings however, meaning the method of your disposal, was left to the guards' discretion.

So upon the Captain's order the rather mean guard who took an instant disliking to you, and hurt your heiny more than once, took you up as his own personal Pet Project.

He proceeded to test out new and painful ways of torture on you in the days after you arrest.

Your screams filled the depths of the Vercotron, and you cried like a baby for mercy.

The things done cannot be spoken aloud.

Ever.

[Screenshots]

Total number of ways to die: 55


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This site was created by Liz Calkins on June 18, 2001.
E-mail: jeysie@alienharmony.com