The Many Deaths of Roger Wilco
"The place where every day is a good day to die."


Space Quest: The Lost Chapter - Planet Surface


Standard "Thanks For Playing" Message

You are now dead.

Thank you for playing Space Quest: The Lost Chapter. Better luck next time!

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At any point in the game, type DIE.

All right. Well, if you really want to, I guess I have no choice but to abide by your wishes.

You stop.

You drop.

You die.

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Ride the Horq (Stand right next to it and type RIDE HORQ).

You briefly consider trying to ride the creature, but then you take a long look at those horns that line its back. Not a good idea. How the Pleborians ever rode these things, you'll never know. Besides, the Pleborians were a quite small race. I think you'd break this thing's back, geez, look at the size of you!

Then again, you know what you're doing. You believe in going with those "first instincts". So you move around to a good spot and climb on the Horq.

YOUCH!!

As you sat on the Horq, the very obvious horns on its back sink into your, well, umm, your nether region.

In pain, shock, and alarm, you dive off the Horq, but alas, it was too late.

The spikes sank deep into your internal organs and cause you to bleed to death, after you smash your face into the soil upon landing.

You die slowly. The pain extremely bad. But at least you weren't eaten.

Until after you died, that is.

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After you get it, eat the fruit. (type EAT FRUIT twice)

You size up the fruit and prepare for a bite.

OK, despite the fact that you have no idea what it is you nonchalantly take a bite from the fruit.

The strange taste is followed by severe convulsions, a tightening of your lungs, gagging, and unfortunately death.

Your last thought is of the unique taste of the strange fruit which you picked off a strange tree on a strange planet. Maybe you shouldn't have put that in your mouth.

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Go too far south from the swamp edge.

Something in the water has apparantly got hold of you and pulled you under.

You of course drown before you are consumed slowly by what seems to be a unique form of life.

Not that you care, because you are dead, but the organism is made up of millions of tiny lifeforms that work together as a whole. They immobilize their prey and then slowly break down the organic matter that makes up that prey.

It's an amazing symbiotic relationship that makes the lifeforms seem as one mass lying just below the surface of the water.

Isn't that educational and eye-opening, and, well, fatal. Maybe next time you'll be more careful.

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Go too far south on the surface of the swamp.

The strange swamp creature seems to have taken a liking to you.

Well, you must have tasted good, because he, or she, sure looks full.

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Catch the Tiny Terror Fish without the jar, or take too long to put it in the jar.

Having nonchalantly put a Tiny Tooth Terror Fish in your pants, you quickly realize your error.

The Terror Fish proceeds to devour you from the leg up.

OH NO

The rest is too horrible for even you to see.

Next time you should keep dangerous things sealed up.

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Catch the Tiny Terror Fish, put it in the jar, then get in the water without covering the jar first.

Well, since the Terror Fish in the jar can swim, having jumped into the water, he swam out.

Maybe sealing things up would be a good idea before you go swimming next time.

Something strange begins to happen in your pants.

This worries you greatly. The last time something like this happened, you had to use that funky smelling cream for two months!

Well, apparently when you jumped in the water the Tiny Toothed Terror Fish swam out of your pants and started chewing on you from the feet up.

As is their nature, the Terror Fish devours you in a couple seconds.

Though excruciatingly painful for those few seconds, at least it was quick.

How all of you fits in that little fish boggles the mind.

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Get too close to the purple plant and get eaten by it.

You notice the purple plant moving. It seems the large plant has been alerted to your presence and is responding.

Could it be that you've found your first intelligent lifeform, Roger? You tremble with excitement as the plant opens up to greet you.

Well, err... maybe that's not what you had in mind. Apparently the plant has seen you as a food source and has taken you into its insides for slow digestion. as it was such a pretty plant, too.

Well, you're dead. Again. This planet just doesn't seem very safe now, does it. Well, you ponder that in the afterlife while I find something better to do.

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Fall off of the rock path.

You are now dead.

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Try to catch the spike. (Get next to it and type TAKE SPIKE)

You finally get close enough to the Walking Spike and try to grab him, or her, you don't know. You move around to a good position and get ready to pounce on the hapless little creature, who incidentally was minding its own business until you came along and scared it half to death.

Very smartly, and slyly, I might add, the Spike trips you up.

That little bugger.

Having been tripped by the Spike, you fall face first onto its body.

You are impaled on the Spike and start bleeding profusely.

Your weight prevents the Spike from moving, too many dry frozen chocolate Moomoos on your part, so the Spike just sits there.

My guess is it will wait 'till you either get eaten by some other animal or rot enough for it to free itself from your heavy leaky body.

I don't think waiting is a problem for this guy.

You however bleed slowly to your death, having many hallucinations before you eventually kick the bucket.

One of them includes large robots and Lime Jello.

The things you think of, Roger.

You lose consciousness and die while in one of those fantastic halluctinations.

At least you die semi-happy.

I mean, how happy can you be, being dead and all.

That'll teach you to try to put wild animals in captivity, even if the captivity in question is your pants.

Actually that might be worse than a Zoo. I can't remember the last time you washed those pants.

Or took a bath.

Peeeuuuu.

Stinky.

Did you know you even have mold growing in there?

Geez.

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Go up on the rock path, then go one screen up and fall off.

Roger: Ooff.

You deftly fall on your face and break your neck.

It's quick and painless, but you die instantly.

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Fall off of the mountain by going too far right or left, or taking too long to climb up unto the cave opening.

Your arms eventually give out and your fingers lose their grip.

You can't keep your balance with just your big feet so you start to fall.

You eventually hit the ground, making a large mess when you do.

You die instantly of course.

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Go into the cave and get attacked by the eye tentacle.

As you get further into the cave you hear something rustling above you.

You get a very bad feeling. Like the time you stuck your finger in that socket on the Arcada.

Something drops on top of you from above.

It feels like heavy cords wrap around you.

Just then you figure out what it is.

It appears your one-eyed friend, if he even has one eye, you don't know, from the cave ceiling decided to stop you from nosing around his premises.

Apparently he has a few more tentacles than the one with the eye. All of which seem to be tightening around you.

You are lifted off the ground and the tentacles continue to tighten.

You catch a brief glimpse of the eye glaring at you as your bones start to snap loudly, and painfully.

Shortly thereafter you pop like a balloon and spread body juices everywhere.

It's quite messy.

Your lifeless mass of flesh is dropped onto the cave floor, eventually to turn to dust.

Nice job, Rog.

At this rate you'll be outta here in about two or three hundred years.

As by then the last remnants of your decomposed body might have blown out the cave entrance.

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This site was created by Liz Calkins on June 18, 2001.
E-mail: jeysie@alienharmony.com