The Many Deaths of Roger Wilco
"The place where every day is a good day to die."


Space Quest 1 VGA - The Deltaur


Get discovered in the airlock.

Robot: ALERT! ALERT! Organic contamination detected in airlock.

Those laser shots are incredibly effective, as your body will attest. Being in plain sight probably didn't help you much.

[Screenshots]

Don't escape the airlock before the door closes again.

You missed a golden opportunity while that door was open. Oh well, what's new. All alone and by yourself, you grow incredibly hungry and begin sampling your own body parts. Finding that you have absolutely no taste, (like we didn't already know that) you end up shriveling away to nothing and dying in the process.

[Screenshot]

Get in the robot's way as he goes back through the door.

"Outta my way!" beeps the rude little droid.

Bumping you, the droid causes you to come into contact with exposed wiring. Your heart, not to mention the rest of your body, doesn't react well to this (have you ever seen rhubarb pie without the crust?). Guess you'll have to be a little more clever next time.

[Screenshots]

Get discovered in the room you end up in right after you leave the airlock.

(1st warning to get out of there)

It sounds like someone (or something) is approaching.

(2nd warning to get out of there)

You hear footsteps approaching and they're getting close. You might only have seconds to do something!

(too late)

Bingo! He got you. You might consider not being around when these guys are shooting. Those things hurt.

[Screenshots]

Try to walk around the ship before you get a disguise or, after you've lost your disguise, get shot by a Sarien before you can shoot them.

BLAMMO! Those pulseray pistols sure are effective little weapons. Even after it kills you, your meat continues to cook to nice golden brown. Try not to get shot in the future. Even if your life isn't worth much, think about the rest of the universe.

[Screenshots]

Get discovered in the laundry room.

(1st warning to get hidden)

It sounds like someone is approaching this room!

(2nd warning to get hidden)

You hear footsteps approaching. You only have seconds to do something!

(too late)

Thank you for playing Space Quest I. Too bad you've failed miserably and doomed all of your people to a horrible death at the hands of the Sariens. You quickly glance about the room to see if anyone saw your silly mistake. Better luck next time.

[Screenshots]

Use the hand icon on the garbage disposal door behind the cleaning droid.

Yikes! I guess that was a bad idea, eh! I guess you'll be staying out of the garbage disposal in the future.

[Screenshots]

Get too close to the electrified globes.

Gee, that must have been a pretty powerful beam, seeing as how it reduced you to a pile of carbonized matter.

[Screenshots]

Take too long to steal the grenade and get caught behind the counter by the droid when he comes back.

Droid: Oh dear, you carbon-based life forms can be soooo annoying. Even something with your incredibly low intelligence should know enough not to enter a restricted area. I guess I'll just have to destroy you to prevent you from reproducing more of your kind.

Thank you for playing Space Quest I. Too bad you've failed miserably and doomed all of your people to a horrible death at the hands of the Sariens. You quickly glance about the room to see if anyone saw your silly mistake. Better luck next time.

[Screenshots]

Drop the grenade too close to yourself. (Using the grenade icon on the floor works.)

Although you've always had an appreciation for the gases of the universe, this one proved a bit overwhelming. It really was a great idea, though. However, you should have chosen a victim not so close to yourself. Better choice next time.

[Screenshots]

Try to fire the pulseray while still in the weapons room.

Droid: Allow me to state the obvious. This is an entirely bullet-proof enviroment, designed to protect us from the acts of imbeciles who fire off rapid-action implements in an enclosed space. Nevertheless, don't do that again.

Droid: Oh my, we are even below organic intellectual levels, aren't we? Don't tell me, let me guess, your race evolved from belly button lint. Well, let's get this over with and do evolution a favor.

Thank you for playing Space Quest I. Too bad you've failed miserably and doomed all of your people to a horrible death at the hands of the Sariens. You quickly glance about the room to see if anyone saw your silly mistake. Better luck next time.

[Screenshots]

Show your ID card to the weapons droid three times.

Droid: Hmm... are you sure you don't already have your weapon? Organics like you have such a "tricky" memory. Are you sure you didn't do something silly like accidently eating it or something? Oh never mind. Don't overtax yourself. I'll just go check.

Droid: As my supreme intellect suspected, another obvious organic life form error. Let me say this verrrryyyy sllloooowwwlllly, THERE ARE NO MORE WEAPONS FOR YOU.

Droid: Oh dear, you again. Actually, looking at your past track record, I'm surprised you didn't take off your boot and start showing me that. I'd better do evolution a favor and prevent you from reproducing. Bye.

Thank you for playing Space Quest I. Too bad you've failed miserably and doomed all of your people to a horrible death at the hands of the Sariens. You quickly glance about the room to see if anyone saw your silly mistake. Better luck next time.

[Screenshots]

Try to go to behind the counter while the droid is watching. (Use the hand icon on the counter flap.)

Droid: Oh dear, how inconvenient. Another life form is in a restricted area. How your race manages not to vaporize itself into extinction is beyond me. I guess I'll have to be polite about this. Pardon me for terminating you.

Thank you for playing Space Quest I. Too bad you've failed miserably and doomed all of your people to a horrible death at the hands of the Sariens. You quickly glance about the room to see if anyone saw your silly mistake. Better luck next time.

[Screenshots]

Shoot the rightmost electrified globe.

Good shootin', Tex. You really did it now, Wilco. Don't you know that macromat field integrators are extremely fragile pieces of equipment and indiscriminately shooting at them with a pulseray gun can be hazardous to your health?

[Screenshots]

Go back to the weapons room after you've lost your helmet.

Droid: Oh dear... another intruder. If it isn't fetching weapons for so-and-so or checking ID cards, its vaporizing bothersome simians.

Thank you for playing Space Quest I. Too bad you've failed miserably and doomed all of your people to a horrible death at the hands of the Sariens. You quickly glance about the room to see if anyone saw your silly mistake. Better luck next time.

[Screenshots]

Steal one grenade and miss the Star Generator guard with it. Then steal the other grenade and miss the Star Generator guard with that one as well.

The Sarien warrior is guarding the stolen Star Generator so intensely, he didn't notice the gas grenade exploding.

Actually, his walkman is cranked up too high.

Oh No! Your rotten aim has attracted the attention of one of the patrol guards. You're in for it now!

Boy, you're no Marshall Dillon, that's for sure. And you were so close. You'll need to react a little faster, be a little sharper than that. Well, throw a little bondo into that hole and get back in there.

[Screenshots]

Walk into the shield surrounding the Star Generator twice.

(1st time)

It appears the shield is preventing you from getting to the Star Generator's control panel and boy is it hot. You'd better not try to get close to the Star Generator again.

(you're toasted)

Ouch! That stings just a tad. You'll obviously need to disarm that baby before trying that again.

[Screenshots]

After you've set the Star Generator to detonate, don't escape the ship before it blows.

You'd better hurry up, Roger! You've got 20 seconds before you're turned into such tiny particles that they couldn't find you with an ion microscope.

We hate to tell you this, but you're dead again. At this rate you'll never see the end of the game.

[Screenshots]

Go back to the Star Generator after losing your helmet without killing the guard first.

Oh no Roger! The guard has seen you and you're not wearing the helmet! You're in for it now Wilco!

Boy, you're no Marshall Dillon, that's for sure. And you were so close. You'll need to react a little faster, be a little sharper than that. Well, throw a little bondo into that hole and get back in there.

[Screenshots]

Go down the elevator to the escape pod, then go back up it. Then go back down again, and walk into the launch channel where the pod used to be.

There goes your ride, Roger. Too bad you can't call a taxi.

Out of the kindness of our hearts, we're just going to kill you off right now and save you the wait until the ship blows up. Be seeing you.

We hate to tell you this, but you're dead again. At this rate you'll never see the end of the game.

[Screenshots]

Escape the Deltaur without setting
the Star Generator to destruct first.

Whew! You're off the Deltaur and safe at last. You can't ignore, however, a nagging feeling that you've forgotten something important. Now what could that be?

While you sit back and relax, soaking in the distant view as you excitedly approach Xenon, you have the uneasy feeling that you might have forgotten something.

Congratulations. You did a great job - to a point. That is, if you overlook the fact that you forgot to set the self-destruct sequence on the Star Generator leaving it ready for the Sariens to use against Xenon and the rest of the universe. Nice try.

[Screenshots]

Total number of ways to die: 58


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This site was created by Liz Calkins on June 18, 2001.
E-mail: jeysie@alienharmony.com